And yet I havnt found much to be happy about. This is my last year in high school and I've realized that since this last summer my life has just kind of gone downhill and I can see it getting worse and worse....I know that I won't be in contact with anybody from my school after I graduate, and I've pretty much dug a hole that's impossible to get out of with my parents and I have doubt that I will see or talk to them either. I really don't have any plans for after high school besides goin to live with my mother for the first time in over 9 years.

Im slowly becoming mroe and more depressed as life continues and it's hard for me to socialize at all anymore. Some of my old self mutilation thoughts have been popping into my head lately and it's a struggle for me to not harm myself anymore. Also, I havnt had a girlfriend in about 9 months, and I'm becoming more and more lonely. It seems that EVERY girl I begin to take interest doesn't think of me in the same way. I'm beginning to wonder if this is just fates way of bringing me to the "right" person or if I'm just not meant to be with anybody. Whatever it is, I'm lonely and I don't see this changing any time soon.

Lastly, I have little to no faith in God anymore; I've pretty much given up on the concept of him existing. I want to believe, but I don't have much reason to assume he's there "guiding me" and what not..........



ALSO: I'm not really creating art for this site any longer, I have no inspiration.